There is absolutely no use losing yourself in the process of loving another; you may never regain yourself. It’s the same to them when you tell them how happy they make you and when you tell them they don’t.
Below are 18 signs yours is a situation, not a relationship, and that it’s going nowhere.
1.They are too busy to give you time
Time, when once given, cannot be taken back. Partners always give each other time in a relationship, a way of showing their care and love for each other. If your partner tells you they are too busy and will not be able to spare a couple of hours to come home and have lunch with you they’ve already lost the care card.
You get all excited to talk to them after spending all day at work. You approach them. They’re always the first one to leave, making up otherwise lame excuses to get away from you like being called by a friend to help them out with their car, even though you know they don’t have such close friends.
Now combine these two concepts together: wanting to get away from you and caring. Do they bode well together for a relationship? They go days without talking to you, despite telling you they’d be there for you not how it goes in a relationship where your partner truly cares.
So they keep playing the cat and mouse game just when you give up, they are all into the relationship; when you call it quits, they start thinking of getting back together. Stop letting them take such grave advantage of you and let them know relationships are not determined by such cliche aspects like coming and going when one wants to.
You get to have a say in it too. If they cannot accept this fact, then it is you who needs to leave for sure because clearly, whether you leave or stay is of no such concern to them.
There might be occasions you’ll doubt your partner or your relationship’s worth. When your partner doesn’t care about it enough, they won’t do anything to assure you everything’s good if they’re indecisive themselves. Don’t waste yourself for such a relationship.
While you make sure your partner’s needs and desires etc. are met with accordingly, it leaves little or no room for you and all that you do for them in their ‘me-world’. This is a major sign that they do not care about you nor the relationship to make it a part of their happiness.
Even if you did not do something grand for them, they would still take your hand and have you walk with them on every path of life. If they stop caring, they won’t even bother, as simple as that.
4.They put the blame on you
Even when it is not your fault, you partner blames you for little things and big things in everyday life. They do not care enough about the healthy course your relationship can and should take and so, putting blames on you becomes habitual to them because holding someone else accountable for their own actions is easier to fulfil, is it not?
If they truly cared about you or your relationship, they would take the blame and not the other way around. It is just one of those small things we do in the name of love and friendship.
You two have a fight. One leaves. The other sits there wondering the why and how of it all. You’d expect them to have the decency to come to you and confront you about what happened, to clear things out. Seems like you had a blindfold on; for they never do, just blame you for everything without clearing things first.
Maybe you aren’t in a position to; there can be many reasons. But if they really cared about the relationship, wouldn’t they come and sit with you and talk things out? The matter speaks for itself.
5.They treat you arrogantly
There is nothing cool about treating others below you so if your partner acts in such a way where they use their high rank, charm or power etc to bring you down in any way then it is a sure sign they do not care enough to protect your feelings.
You know that homily feeling you get when you’re with your significant other? That feeling of security and stability’s among the first bricks to put in any relationship. When that feeling becomes dormant, either your partner is doing something less than what they did before or your relationship has simply lost that spark it once had, when everything seemed all rainbows and sunshine.
Your time would be utterly wasted by investing your all in something that doesn’t even make you feel secure anymore. It’ll come down like a house of cards.
6.Being disrespectful way too much
The things that are important to you and hold some special value to you ought to be respected and cared for by those around you too, those that truly care about you. What makes you happy would them happy.
But if your partner shows disrespect for the things that matter to you whether it be religious beliefs or even a small pendant a close friend gifted to you and which you like a lot then you do not need to stay with such a person who cannot treat the things you so value with equal respect.
7.They are non-supportive
There is no good in being with someone who does not have your back. Support to a relationship is what water is to plants; it makes the other grow. So if your shows lack of support in your, may it be moral, social, financial or personal, it is a major sign they have stopped caring for you and your relationship at that level.
Support is a whole lot more than saying things the same things you are saying, going to the same places as you go to and hanging out with the same group of people you hang out with. Its roots lie deeper than such mediocre things.
Whether it’s the things they do or don’t, what they say or don’t say if your partner doesn’t care about leading you towards good things in life instead leaving you stranded despite all their promises to be your guiding light, they’ve lost interest in the relationship and you.
8.They treat you like an outsider
If you are way ahead into your relationship yet you still have not met their parents or gotten to know if they have any siblings and other such personal matters, just take it as a sign they are not that serious about the relationship or taking it to that level.
You are with them yet they make you feel like an outsider. It is a fake concept you are following blindly and so, you need to stop and set your priorities straight. You make all the effort, answer every question, clear doubts, hold on to the good stuff while they do nothing it shows you’re giving them your all but getting nothing. That doesn’t show good, solid interest in the relationship, does it?
9.They make you feel worthless
Everyone deserves to be told at least at some point in the relationship that they are doing okay. If your partner makes you feel like you cannot say or do anything right, if they constantly pick fights with you and misunderstand all that you say do you really think they would act in such a way if they actually cared about how your relationship is progressing or should progress? It is not you who is in the wrong here, and maybe what you do or say is perfect, actually.
Being with someone who only sees the darkness of life isn’t healthy for you. Even if you stop believing in the greater good, they ought to show you the optimistic side of things as that would make you feel better. If they don’t, you’ve already lost them.
10.Their apologies do not mean anything
‘Sorry’ is just a word, until someone comes along and gives it meaning. Your partner will commit the same things they would later be sorry for or will they, really? Care and thought has to be put into an apology and it does not mean anything if not enough care is put into it.
It is good for nothing. Being with such a person can be very damaging for you, someone who does not care about what they do or say that you may dislike and then not having the decency to apologize for it in earnest either.
11.All sex, no love
You know when your partner literally stops caring about the relationship when they only indulge in its physical aspect and do not pay any heed to actual feelings and respect you deserve from them. Love isn’t define by something as mediocre as sex; that’s just a part of the relationship, not the whole thing. If you’re with someone who doesn’t understand this then you should really reconsider.
12.They start cheating on you
Loyalty’s only when you care deeply enough for that person but if not, you jump to the next one and make it like it never happened with you. If your partner actually cares about taking the relationship to a serious level, they will never go and cheat on you.
It’s only when they stop caring or lose their interest in you and the relationship that they waste their time with someone else. You need to tell yourself here that it isn’t about you but them. You didn’t break the loyalty oath, they did.
13.They try to change you
You stop feeling like yourself when you are with them. If your partner cares about you, they would never try to change you in fact they would do the opposite, so you could enjoy a healthy relationship. But a careless partner makes you change yourself in so many ways, you feel exhausted.
14.They do not bother remembering what you say
When we really care about the person speaking, we listen to them. When we do not care, we are just hearing. It might be something you said last week or just a couple of minutes ago if your partner does not even bother recalling it, much less keeping it in mind despite your emphasis on how important that thing is to you then take it as a sign they do not care enough for you nor their relationship with you to listen to what you say
Enock Mugabi aka Eye Witness is a Journalist, Seasoned Writer and Music Analyst with a passion for sports.
Connect with him on social media using the links below in bio.