Who wouldn’t love being worshiped by their guy? It’s fine even when he doesn’t exactly worship you, but still is immensely in love with you. But it’s troubling when you’ve fallen for him helplessly but he doesn’t quite feel the same way. You know he cares, and you know he’s interested, but what in the world is keeping him from getting to where you stand! You can be positively patient only for so long. After a while it’s going to nag at you like anything.
You’re going to be torn. The heart would say, wait for him; he’ll come around, while the mind would tell you to do the reasonable thing and give up. Plenty of fish in the sea. But when your heart is set on the one fish, you don’t want anyone else. You’d rather put yourself through the following things, than give up on him.
1. You’re constantly looking for signs
Those little surprises, cute texts and other affectionate things do not necessarily mean he is in love with you. It doesn’t mean that he isn’t interested in you at all either. Don’t look for things that don’t exist. It’s tiring and doesn’t really help the situation. He’s being good to you because he likes you and wants to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Don’t read into things.
2. You don’t like how they have the power in your relationship
Since you’re the one who loves him, you’d always be conscious of his needs, wants and feelings. At times even more so than your own. But what about him? There is a pretty good chance that he might do the same things that you’d do for him. And it might not even bother him all that much considering he doesn’t feel the same way you do. His preferences could be very different than yours. And you’re the one whose feelings are always going to be at his grace.
3. The expectations are at a minimum
Anything he does, please you. You’d settle for being treated worse than you deserve. You won’t complain because in your eyes any effort, no matter how tiny is an effort nonetheless. When you’re accepting the way he treats you, you’re killing your self-esteem. You do realize that, but you don’t do anything about it. You hopelessly wait for him to come around and realize you for the gem you are. You could be disappointed, very disappointed.
4. You don’t know how long it will last
It could be days, weeks or months before he crosses over from like to love. There is also a chance that he never crosses over to the other side of the line. There is no guarantee. You might not want to end it because you’re in love with him, but he might at some point decide that it’s not going to work out. You’re entirely at his disposal. He could do whatever he sees fit, and there’s nothing you can do about it. These odds aren’t the best.
5. How for would you go to make him love you?
It’s one thing to invest your feelings in someone, and a whole other thing to invest a lot more than that. It could be your money, yourself and also forgetting that something like self-worth even exists. You need to learn to draw the line somewhere. You’re placing yourself in a vulnerable position. He could very much exploit you for the feelings you have for him. He knows that you can never say no to him and he just might take advantage of that in all possible ways.
6. Closure isn’t something you can expect when things end
How do you end something that hasn’t even started? You will not stop obsessing over him if you guys break up. Because even when he is trying to get away from you, you’re still trying to find reasons to keep him around. He wouldn’t be affected much by it. To him you’re just desperately hanging on, and you’d get tired of it eventually. On the other hand you’ll drain yourself emotionally and mentally to make sense of the whole situation. It might take you a really, really long time to find peace after breaking up with a guy you love but who doesn’t reciprocate the love.
7. The what-ifs
When you’re in love with a guy who simply likes you, the relationship can be torturous. But the torture doesn’t end with the relationship. The break up is followed by a series of never ending what-ifs. What if it had actually worked out between the two of you? What if you would’ve done things differently? What if they had only given it a little more time? And so on.
If you’re presently in a relationship like this, you need to set things straight. Don’t let him walk all over you. Don’t settle for anything less than you deserve and never ever sacrifice your dignity for anyone. You can’t help hoping for things to work out, but don’t let it get out of hands.
Enock Mugabi aka Eye Witness is a Journalist, Seasoned Writer and Music Analyst with a passion for sports.
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