After the release of Martha Kay’s nudes a fortnight ago, Ugandans could not decide on who had the better nudes a reason we decided to sit down and rank them accordingly. The following are the ranks the nudes committee awarded to the participants and players of the industry.

Desire Luzinda

Commonly known as the ‘Queen of Kitone’, her nudes caused whopper oscillations in Kampala. Every loaded fella wanted to have a piece of her. She is well endowed downstairs and has river Nile between her legs. She is without doubt the Queen of nudes. We therefore award her the rank of Field Marshall.

She is the Queen of this industry.

Martha Kay

She is a new entrant in the industry. Martha Kay surely has work. Her baby like Kandahar left very many men pocketing. Since the release of her nudes days ago, she has been in hiding. She is a General. Sources say she could be next in line to succeed Desire Luzinda

She is Desire Luzinda’s assistant.

Zari Hassan

Described by many as the Queen of Kalahari desert. She is beautiful but dry. We therefore award her the rank of Lieutenant Colonel

We were disappointed by her Kalahari desert

Judith Heard

Many call her the ‘Queen of beans’. Her gigantic bean surprised many on the internet. They were good and she deserves the rank of Major General.

Her beans were tasty

Anitah Fabiola

Her nudes leaked in mid 2015 and yes, they were appetising. They ended her career at NTV where she was hosting be my date. However, he undressed body looked totally different from what we see. She deserves the rank of Lieutenant Colonel

Her nudes were saucy despite the fact that she had one hip

Princess Komuntale

She is a Princess of Toro Kingdom. When her saucy photos were leaked by her then husband, every man was excited because they were saucy. Therefore we have decided to give her the rank of Lieutenant General

Simply Juicy

Kleith Kyatuhaire

She is a former NTV Uganda presenter. When her nudes leaked in 2016, she quit the station and went for ‘kyeyo’ in Dubai. Her nudes were, ‘there there’ and therefore she deserves the rank of Brigadier

Her nudes were average despite the fact that shops ran out of soap stock

Cindy Sanyu

The self proclaimed ‘king herself’ served us her disgusting nudes in 2013. These nudes did not excite a single person and because of this, we decided to award him the rank of Captain.

She has been awarded the rank of Captain

Robin Kisti

Robin Kisti was an employee of NTV Uganda by the time her nudes leaked in 2015. She went into hiding thereafter before heading to USA for Kyeyo. It should be safe to say that her nudes were not appetising in any way. We are awarding her the rank of Lieutenant

She has been awarded the rank of Lieutnant