It’s a classic scenario. You develop a liking for a particular guy. You can tell that he’s kind of interested in you too. You have a great conversation and you really hit things off. You exchange phone numbers in the hopes that things eventually lead to somewhere special.
And so you take your time and you send him a text message just to keep the ball rolling. But then, he doesn’t reply to you. You wait, but still, no response comes. It’s worrying you. It’s confusing to you. It might not seem like such a big deal; it might seem like a very small and insignificant event in the early aspects of a relationship. But you also have to keep in mind that in a fresh relationship, there are no events so small or insignificant.
Every single gesture, action, and occurrence carries heavy weight. They all have heavy implications. However you choose to react to this kind of treatment is going to give this guy a very good idea of what kind of person you are. They are going to scrutinize how you are going to react to this situation and they will try to gauge just how much power they have over you in this early relationship. There’s no denying that the age of smartphones and social media has revolutionized the way that people interact and communicate. It has completely changed the dynamics of dating and how people approach new relationships. You are now fully capable of making the moves on a person without even having to be in the same room as one another regardless of what time of the day it is even.
However, that convenience can also be seen as a potential tool for guys to see just how invested the women might be in their potential relationship. There are certain expectations that present themselves in the age of texting and social media that were never there before. And they have made things infinitely more complicated. In the old days, couples could go dates, weeks, and even months before hearing from one another. And that was something normal. However, these days, if you don’t get to talk to the person you’re dating at least once every 1-2 days, it’s always going to be a cause for panic. It forces a lot of people to overthink everything. It’s an anxiety-inducing phenomenon that a vast majority of people still fall victim to.
So back to the matter at hand. You’re interested in him and you’ve sent the first text. But he hasn’t replied. What do you do now? Is there substantial cause for you to worry? Should you be panicking at this point? Well, first, take a deep breath. The most destructive thing that you could do at this point is to just assume that everything has gone to hell. Don’t automatically assume that he’s playing games with you or that he’s grown disinterested. Perhaps, he’s just been busy with things at work. Maybe he has a few family issues that’s dealing with. Or maybe his phone is broken and he hasn’t been able to check his messages yet.
There are so many possibilities and you shouldn’t automatically assume that the worst-case scenario is true. You never know that the reason he hasn’t replied to you has absolutely nothing to do with you. So the first thing that you need to do in this situation is this:
Just do nothing. As mentioned, you can’t just automatically assume that things are over between the two of you. And it’s going to seem very desperate and needy on your part if you send another text message. So just take a passive approach for now. You already did all you can. You sent the first text message and the ball isn’t in your court anymore.
2. Remember your worth and value in life.
Don’t let the fact that they haven’t replied to you convince you that you are less than your actual worth. Again, the issue might not have anything to even do with you. And besides, your sense of self-worth shouldn’t be tied to whether or not a man replies to your text message.
3. Do what makes you happy in the meantime.
Keep yourself busy. You’re only going to kill yourself with anxiety if you just wait by your phone. Do what makes you happy. Engage in your hobbies. Go and exercise. Immerse yourself in your work. Go ahead and learn new skills.
4. Wait for 2 days before you send a follow-up message.
If he still hasn’t responded after a couple of days, then go ahead and send a second message. Give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he just forgot to reply to you and he needs a little reminder or an extra nudge.
5. Move on if he doesn’t respond.
If he still doesn’t reply, then move on. He doesn’t deserve a third text message from you. If he wants to be in your life, he will make an effort to be a part of it. But if he doesn’t, then you deserve to find yourself someone who does.
Enock Mugabi aka Eye Witness is a Journalist, Seasoned Writer and Music Analyst with a passion for sports.
Connect with him on social media using the links below in bio.