The last time you talked to us at Rotaract fellowship at Kati Kati, you talked about the power of connections. You said you are as rich as the connections you have. I am generally a reserved person. Even my friends think I am an introvert. How can I make more friends at meetings, cocktails and engagements? Robert
Its not easy to make friends. People naturally want to talk to people who are like them. We look for those who are like us whenever we meet. Once we enter a room, we look for a friend, OG, OB or acquaintance. It’s safer for us. This however, limits our network building. Meeting new people is work. It takes effort. We need to do it deliberately by seeking out the people we want to meet. That way, we will meet quality people who matter. If we meet those who come to us, we will end up with the same buddies who choose us. It won’t be about us. It won’t be our choice but theirs. Good enough, more important people tend to be avoided yet often, they want to engage and talk. So how is it easy to meet and engage them.
These are some of the things I think can make it easier for you.
a) Ensure you are dressed appropriately for every event. When you are well dressed, you will feel confident to meet people. A good scent also pushes you to engage. It works.
b) Once you get into the place, identify who you want to talk to and get a seat near them. It makes it easy to shake hands or say a word if you are near. Most people wont change seats once the meeting has started so, you have your target for the entire period of the meeting or cocktail or dinner.
c) Always introduce yourself with some short ‘bio” . You only have one chance to make first impressions. First impressions lasts. So, have that elevator pitch ready. Don’t just say , I am Robert. That closes the conversation. Say , I am Robert, I do ABC, I am here for ….. and it’s a pleasure or honor to meet you… that way, the conversation is open.
d) Always ask open ended questions, don’t ask questions where their answers are yes or No.
e) Avoid sensitive subjects. There was a time I saw a lady at a dinner with a ring. She was middle aged . I was like how are the kids? She became gloomy. Later, a tear fell from her eyes. She had her sixth miscarriage a week before. Yes we continued to talk but clearly, it was uncomfortable. Avoid things like marriage, kids or personal things etc.
f) Have some pet subjects as conversation starters. The architecture of the building, the weather, the music, the speakers etc are good ways to start.
g) Carry cards with you and offer them as soon as you meet.
h) Carry your drink in the left hand so that your right is available to shake hands.
i) Ensure you call back the next day when the memory is fresh so that your new friend knows you are not like the others.
j) Be fun, keep it simple, have fun. Lets see whether it works.
