Forgive me, I digress: this article is about sex, which, as I was saying, is different from coffee and cheesecake. The difference is sex can’t be fully enjoyed unless it involves two people who are both in a state of mutual ecstasy.

Why? Sex is about way more than just individual pleasure – it’s about connection, intimacy, and a mind-blowing, shared experience between you and your partner.

This means that us men need to start paying more attention to those things that women appreciate in a sexual partner! This article explores four important sex traits that women value. Men, start taking notes.

1.     (S)exploration

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For those of us in long-term relationships, it’s not unusual for sex to become a predictable and unimaginative routine. One study even claims that women tend to become bored with sex as early as one year into relationships! We shouldn’t need to remind you that sex is supposed to be an exciting and enlivening experience, not just another one of our daily (if we’re lucky) chores!

For this reason, women appreciate a man who is willing to shake things up and explore new sexual territories. This can lead your brain to release dopamine– the chemical that helps us to feel excitement, motivation, and pleasure. In other words, those who introduce a bit of novelty into the bedroom will find that sex becomes a more exhilarating experience.

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What can you do? Try to be more spontaneous: this might involve having sex at different times, in different places, and using new and interesting positions. For those who are more adventurous, you might find that accessories and role-play are the sort of things needed for your sex life to flourish. But at the end of the day, it’s not really about what you do in bed: it’s about your willingness to be open, curious, and explorative!

2.     Sexual Stamina

Do women appreciate men who can last long enough in bed? That’s a no brainer! Why? Research and experience have shown, time and time again, that women take longer than men to become aroused and have an orgasm. This is one of the big reasons for why women value men with sexual stamina! Is this backed up by research? It sure is: one study found that women dating men with premature ejaculation (PE) are unhappier in their relationships, sometimes even ending things as a result.

Now, just because you have low sexual stamina, it doesn’t mean that you have PE, which is usually only diagnosed when you come in under a minute. Regardless, the message to take home is that lasting longer in bed is important. Luckily for us men, there are tried and tested ways to last in bed. Having said that, not all women place so much emphasis on sexual stamina – there are other ways to keep her happy.

3.     Foreplay Is Your Friend

For some women, foreplay is just as important as sex; and for others it’s more important! Why? As we mentioned, it can take a bit of time before a woman feels turned on and ready for intercourse, especially when compared to men. For this reason, many women will appreciate it when time and energy is invested into foreplay!

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But beyond that, foreplay sends your partner the message the you want all of her and that you’re willing to prioritize her sexual needs. This sort of affection also stimulates a burst of the love hormone -Oxycontin–which can make you feel connected, more intimate, and safer together in that moment.

Remember that foreplay is about making her feel pleasured and wanted. This means that it’s important to take your time and check-in on how she’s responding. Be sure to adapt to what she needs and if she asks for something, do it! Also, make sure that foreplay doesn’t become a predictable routine – variety is the spice of life and is vital when it comes to spicing up your sex life!

4.     Communication Is Key

What, you thought that this list of sexual traits would be all about your reproductive organs and what you do with them in the bedroom? Not so: when it comes to an enriched sex-life, women value men who are well endowed with good communication skills.

Sexual communication can happen in different ways. For some, it’s all non-verbal: smiles, kisses, strokes, or moans of pleasure. For others, it’s about vocalizing what they want (“slow down” and “harder”) or how they’re feeling (“Yes!”). Outside of the bedroom, many couples can also benefit from an honest conversation about their sex lives – what works, what doesn’t, and what each person could do to differently.

Women appreciate men who are not just able to communicate openly when it comes to sex and intimacy, but who are receptive and attentive when women send out these sorts of important messages. How can you improve your sexual communication skills? Start the conversation by telling your partner what you enjoy about their way of being in the bedroom; and ask them what you can do to improve the experience. This lets her know how much you appreciate her and sends the message that you able and willing to make whatever changes might be necessary to take your sex life to the next level.

Summing Up

We all want to be our best selves in the bedroom. Who wouldn’t want a sex life that is as healthy, exciting, and pleasurable as possible? If this is one of your relationship goals, then you should be paying attention to these four sexual traits that women value in their partners. Whether it’s a matter of lasting longer in bed and being more open to sexual novelty; or whether you decide to invest more time in foreplay and communication, these are all steps that you can take toward becoming a better sexual partner.