DEAR ZZINA POWER: THE gal next door is using me for bonk.

It’s making me miserable because she has made it clear she isn’t interested in me, while I have developed real feelings for her.

She came over to borrow an electric heater, as her boiler had packed up. I invited her in for a cuppa and asked if she was OK.

To my surprise, she opened up to me about her bad marriage, her ex and the fact he had cheated on her.

She even asked my advice about whether she should agree to meet him.

After that, she’d confide in me on a regular basis about all her personal issues. I’ve become her free advice service.

As I’m an accountant, I also helped her with her taxes. I thought we were getting close although if I’m honest, she never asked me much about myself.

When I asked her if she’d be my girlfriend, she bluntly said she was sorry but she didn’t find me attractive.

So I was very surprised last week when she told me she was horny and asked me to pleasure her.

We were sitting there on the sofa at the time.

I was very happy to oblige — and more — although she wouldn’t kiss me and said no to full intercourse.

This has now happened three times. In the heat of the moment, she acts like we’re together.

But as soon as she has an orgasm, she switches back to being my neighbour.

I’m confused and feel horrible. I know I’m being used but I can’t help myself. It’s like I’m under her spell. How do I stop her taking advantage of me?

ZZINA POWER SAYS: As far as your Gal next door is concerned, you are “friends with benefits”.

The problem is you haven’t agreed to this and she is the one receiving all the benefits.

All you are getting is the sad, sinking feeling that she is using you to offload her problems and her romp frustration.

This is clearly not what you want. And if that is indeed the case, you need to tell her this arrangement is not making you happy.

Stop agreeing to give her sexual favours and explain that you can be her friend but nothing more.

You could deal with this situation in a more controlled way if you learn some assertiveness techniques. There are tips in my support pack Standing Up For Yourself.

It does sound like you want a relationship and you deserve to be with someone who treats you with respect and who is truly interested in you.