DEAR ZZINA POWER; I have a confession, my cheating ways have finally caught up with me. My wife has kicked me out and I desperately want her back.

We have been together for 18 years, since I was 21 and she was 19. We have two teenage children together.

I have always loved her but during the course of our relationship, I have cheated on her three times. I don’t know why.

The first was ten years ago, with a woman I met in the pub. My wife found out and she was gutted, but we managed to work through our problems.

But fast forward three years, and I did it again. It was a ­colleague that time.

My wife suspected but could never prove it. She said if it happened again she would leave me. A few months ago, I started chatting to a woman online.

It was at a time my wife really needed me because she’d just lost her mum.

Nothing physical happened, but it was still an emotional affair.

My wife found the messages and she was devastated.

She said she couldn’t deal with the betrayal again, ­especially at a time when she was grieving.

She asked me why I had done it, and I couldn’t give her an explanation. So she told me to leave the next day.

I still really love her, and the children are the best thing to have happened to me. I would do anything to win her back, to get my family back.

How can I get her to see I’m destroyed with the pain I have caused?

I need her to understand she is the only woman for me. I know I don’t deserve her but I’d do anything for her.

Please help me understand why I cheated.

I thought we would be together for ever. But now I’m about to turn 40, single and ­living on someone’s sofa.

ZZINA POWER SAYS: It sounds like you deeply regret cheating and want to change.

Sometimes people cheat because they have an urge to self-sabotage, as they don’t feel good enough, others because they are insecure and feed off attention.

My support pack, Can’t be Faithful? should help clarify.

To get to the root of why you cheated, it would be helpful to have relationship counselling, either alone or with your wife.