The Permanent Secretary and Secretary to the Judiciary Dr Pius Bigirimana has released a new book that digs deep into the African sex magic treasurers.
Bigirimana unveiled the controversial sex education book titled “Naked Truth” on Saturday at Mestil Hotel in Kampala while celebrating his wedding anniversary.
In the book, Bigirimana explains that certain changes in modern society have cast the subject of sex in a different light. These changes are technological and socio-anthropological. These affect how sex takes place and how it is viewed.
“The above has, in practice, resulted in the commoditisation of relationships. This commoditisation has been entrenched in the quest for pleasure based on individual preferences,” Bigirimana explains.
Thus, love as a lifelong commitment has been attacked by the promotion of the supremacy of personal pleasure. Simply said, life has been reduced to one statement – “if it does not make you happy, leave it; if it makes you happy, do it!” So, it has become normal to hop from one sex adventure to another.
“The individual owes accountability to his or her pleasure. Therefore, men and women take decisions without putting into mind the effects of their decisions on their children, spouses and the extended family.”
“Sex has not been spared from the above ravages. It is viewed as a game. The reality of sex as a bonding activity that requires deep discipline rooted in trust, commitment, respect and care is easily lost. The ironical outcome is that of people having more sex but becoming increasingly unhappy.”
Bigirimana uses the context of marriage as the most appropriate for understanding the meaning and technique of sex to maintain its original purpose and freshness.
The Sex Crisis
This chapter traces the source of sex problems in today’s marriages. The author highlights that sex is not troublesome by itself. Rather, it is the surrounding circumstances within a relationship that turn sex into the battlefield where disagreements are experienced.
What is good sex?
The author points out that sex can become predictable and uninteresting. Attraction and desire can be lost and sex defaults to a routine like that of animals. Both husband and wife can find this kind of sexual activity to be dull and boring. Good sex requires husband and wife to continually cultivate companionship, mutual support, care and understanding. This feeds attraction and desire thereby making sex pleasant and enjoyable.
What is good sex?
This chapter deals with the tangible and intangible facilitators of a great sexual experience. These include the imagination, the conscience and the physical location. The quality of sex can be greatly improved when both partners intentionally look out for these facilitators and use them to improve their sex lives.
What is good sex?
This chapter goes into the detail of how each individual person’s body is wired differently for sex. It is the task of the husband and wife to discover the sexual wiring of his or her spouse. Making use of the wiring will enhance the physical sensations of enjoyment the partner experiences. This makes sex more attractive.
Sex – the battle ground
In this chapter, the author uses a realistic example to demonstrate how spouses can weaponise sex and use it as a means of retaliation against their partner. Proper unpacking of the reasons for denying a spouse of sex requires candidness and willingness to make corrections. A marriage devoid of sex is a marriage headed for collapse.
The Sex Network
Here, the author explains components of memory, physical impartation and tradition and culture. These come together to determine how and what an individual thinks about sex. They also determine the manner, or the absence thereof, which directs communication about sex between husband and wife. Some of the residues of these components are deeply embedded; they require careful examination in order to be uncovered.
The State of the family today
This chapter explains the importance of family values. When husband and wife have different points of view concerning how their family ought to operate, clashes become inevitable. This can be compounded when husband and wife come from radically different backgrounds. Agreeing on common principles to be upheld as a family is essential for harmonious co-existence.
Sex and upbringing
Some childhood or other prior sexual experiences during earlier stages of upbringing can affect a spouse’s view of sex. When the same are combined to cultural repression of sexual expression, complications in marriage may arise. Spouses need to openly communicate about what they would like before, during and after sex; additionally, sex should not be withheld and expectations should be fully met willingly.
Sex and Technology
In this Chapter, the author discusses the rampant sexualisation of information commonly observed in mass media. He also goes into the novel possibility of sexual liaisons enable by computers and other technological devices. In fact, technology, in its own right, has created forms of sexual experiences that were not envisaged by the law or by protection mechanisms designed to ensure mental health. Husband and wife ought to consistently avoid the temptations of using technology to procure illicit love affairs.
Sex and Drugs
Drugs empitomise the enjoyment of pleasure through substances that stimulate alternative realities. Unfortunately, they are addictive and trigger financial, social and professional imbalances that negatively affect the family. They also lead to behavioural choices that can predispose someone to diseases. Spouses must stay away from drugs in order to protect their marriages.
Traditional perceptions about sex and the family
This chapter with the basic needs of a husband and those of the wife. It highlights the diminishing role of cultural attachments, beliefs and practices. The isolation of the modern husband-wife relationship from the dictates of tradition and the State is pointed out. This ought to facilitate the husband and wife to conduct their marriage free of undue, external influence. Unfortunately, the reverse is possible; that is, the husband and wife facing difficulties in their home with no accessible social support immediately available.
Comparisons to Christian thinking about Sex and the Family
This chapter lays out the Godly divine order for peace and harmony in the home. Here, the author observes, the idea of patriarchy weaves its thread across both Christian and traditional African value systems. The idea of a man as the divinely ordained leader of the home runs counter to the underlying notion of equals as put forward by the women’s emancipation movement. Nevertheless, the author holds, it is a time-tested arrangement for peace and harmony in the home. The author also notes that husbands are required to selflessly love their wives and children. They must protect them and provide for all their needs.
Traditional African sex styles
The author specifically references Dr Bizimana’s exposition on the traditional African sex technique referred to as kunyaza. It is a practical, easy and predictable method by which any couple can learn to sexually satisfy each other. He highly recommends for couples who have not receive adequate sexual education. This technique is guaranteed, when correctly used, to ensure the wife is sexually satisfied on each occasion.
In this chapter, the author summarises the key points of the book. They concern love, care, financial security, communication and physical health. Husband and wife must intentionally join their efforts to improve and perfect each of those areas in order to enjoy their marriage and good physical health. He concludes with the observation that sex that has always been perceived as a battle field can become a source of pleasure in a marriage. That is Naked Truth!