Jennifer Full Figure never stops to amuse. The water-mouthed failed comes up with new theories each day.

Last week was President Museveni’s swearing in ceremony and she was one of the few invited guests.

On the same day, former Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger was in Rwanda to attend the CAF Executive Committee meeting as part of his job as Fifa chief of global football development. He was pictured presenting a signed Arsenal shirt to President Paul Kagame.

But according to Full Figure Arsene Wenger was on his way to Kampala to witness President Museveni’s swearing-in but was hijacked and diverted to Rwanda. “We had booked him to represent the sports world but we were surprised to hear that he had landed in Kigali instead,” Full Figure said.

“It’s clearly sabotaging. Even Akon who was to perform arrived late due to sabotage… our intelligence shows that his plane kept circling in the sky for hours until it was too late to perform.” Jennifer Full Figure.

She blamed everything on anti-government elements, pointing a fat index finger at NUP and Bobi Wine.
“Police must investigate this collusion with Rwanda. I’m certain of it,” Jennifer Full Figure concluded.

What is your opinion on Full Figure’s wild thoughts?