DEAR ZZINA POWER: My-soon-to-be ex husband is divorcing me but won’t move out and he’s now parading his bonk life in front of me.
We have been married for 10 years and have two teenage children. I am 27 and he is 34.
Things started going wrong a few years ago. He was picking fights with me and putting me down in front of the kids.
Eventually, he told me he’d had enough of me — I bored him — and he wanted a divorce.
I was gutted, but accepted it, as he was making me miserable and I thought it was the best thing for the children.
But then he said he couldn’t afford to move out, so he would have to stay in our house until the divorce was finalised.
He moved into the spare room, as agreed, but within a couple of weeks had started seeing a woman at work.
I think she is in her thirties, and he has taken pleasure in telling me she is so much more fun and with remarkable bedroom skills than me.
Although he hasn’t brought her back to the house — small mercies — he flaunts his relationship in front of me.
He bought a big box of condoms and a tube of lube, and left them in the bathroom, where anyone could see them.
And last week he received a package from Amazon containing a spray to numb his Cucumber to make romps last longer.
This is all so hurtful and humiliating.
The worst thing is he thinks it’s his right to bonk with me too.
Twice he’s come home drunk and climbed into bed with me in the middle of the night.
I know it’s hopeless and he’s simply using me, but we did end up playing the famous game.
He thinks it’s fine because we’re still legally married.
ZZINA POWER SAYS: When you have been in a long relationship, what’s not acceptable may feel normal because it’s what you are used to.
But this situation does sound extremely unhealthy at best and abusive at worst.
Your husband is selfish and entitled. He has no right to demand romps from you.
He treats you like dirt, insults you, and then wants to pick you up for his own s#xual gratification and this is not acceptable.
Being in this environment is also very damaging for your children.
Talk to a solicitor. It might be possible to force him to leave.
Enock Mugabi aka Eye Witness is a Journalist, Seasoned Writer and Music Analyst with a passion for sports.
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