Museveni’s cabinet

There are people who should have made it to President Yoweri Museveni’s cabinet list.

Museveni announced his eagerly await list on Wednesday night and revealed that he had to go into hiding to work on it.

He said in his budget speech that he had to subtract, add and divide. Perhaps some of the names we are going to bring out below did not feature in his list.

Ssegirinya – Bapambani

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This is a big group of people who think they got their man Segirinya in Parliament but were short of words when he was missing on the secret list. With Joyce Ssebugwawo making the list with her FDC background, they thought Segirinya should have been on the list too.

Full Figer – Mizigo

Full Figa is the real description of a true muzigo. People think she speaks faster than a kyarani (sawing machine). You should never try her out if you do not want embarrassment. For anybody living in a muzigo, Full Figa is the right person to listen and able to address their issues.

Sempa – Wololo

Sempa comes out as somebody who thinks he knows it all. To many, the I know it all attitude and wanting to add his voice on everything makes him come off as wololo. And who else to represent the many who you know in your hood other than Sempa.

Bebe – Angry People

Nobody loves sevo more than the son of Bidandi. Bring one person and we will prove to you who Bebe is. The real sense of as in ‘okuyiwa omubili’ is what Bebe is to Sevo. Somethings did not certainly go well during campaigns and he felt people who did very little instead took his position. Without doubt we hand him that portfolio to help present the views of the aggrieved to the big man.

Mondo – Big People

What a bubbly fella Mondo is! Tell us any big person who is not happy and we give you a food treat. Mondo simply loves the way he looks. You will not find him talking about slimming. No! That is not him. So we feel he should have been appointed to represent his people who contribute a lot to the GDP of this country.

Muwenda – Abasoma

People in ties and suits feel they were completely left out of the cabinet list and are punching the walls in their rooms. Mwenda is one of them. He thinks sevo should have done better with his choices. Professors, law dons and other senior citizens are not happy about the list. They feel it ignored them. Mwenda is the best possible person to take this ministry since he is equipped with research and figures to show the big man.

Gashumba – Wano nawali

Be it gossip, entertainment, politics, farming and love affairs, there is no better placed person than Gashumba. He has a convincing tongue that makes people listening to him on radio or TV even stop a meal. It was a deafening silence on the corridors when it emerged his name was missing.

Big Eye – Ex Boyfriends

Ex – boyfriends association continues to play a big role in this nation with some to-date provide in millions ‘sente za kameza’ which goes into national treasury. This group feel they should have been awarded a ministry and who else to represent them – Big Eye!

Basajjamivule – Big Talkers

Big talkers are all over this country. They are very active in part of this country. Without them politicians would not be who they are. They are kayungirizis who connect many people to big offices. They think they should have been given a ministry even if at the ministry of state level. Basajja is their man and feel he would do a great job.

Tamale – Polopaganda

Who knows polopaganda more than Tamale in this town? Polopaganda as Tamale says wins political office. Without polopaganda there is no politics, so he says. This office is very crucial and many feel it should not have been left out.

Lumbuye – Live

Fred Lumbuye has become a cult hero on social media with his live updates. His followers were waiting for him to appear on the national list of ministers but in vain. He represents a big following on social media. And they suggest they contribute so much in internet charges, airtime to the economy.

Lwasa – Rural-Urban excitement

Lwasa is a true definition of a Masaka man! He prides in Masaka. His businesses and home are all found in Masaka. However, he has found it small and now and then tried to venture into the city life. True but it is not all about the money which he truly does have. But what has refused to go away is the excitement. With the so called celebrities he has attracted to himself, the rural-urban excitement simply can’t go away.

DJ Nimrod – Food Affairs

DJ Nimrod did an amazing job during lock down soliciting for food from people to help fellow DJs and entertainers. DJs and entertainers play a massive role in entertaining people in clubs, bars and weddings. With DJ Nimrod missing on the list, it is not going to be a safe journey with lock down looking like it will not end in the nearest future.

Kasuku – Wolokoso

He has been consistent in unmasking stories. Wolokoso is such a big industry. He will do a good job serving the citizens of the wolokoso republic.

Sheila – Lichi ganga affair

Sheila has specialized in bonking the people with money. It doesn’t matter who or what or where you come from. For as long as you can spit paper, you will have served her interests. The people she represents used to splash money save for now with this evil Covid-19. They are the true friends of the money eaters and the economy with their ‘open bar’ gestures. Many in her circles could not believe it when it came up she was not on the list.

Don Zella – Young Boys

She does not run out of ideas on who she wants to be with. So many socialites, musicians and models keep in her company both home and in diaspora just for just.

Brian White – Abawedemu

Brian White draws debate among boda boda rides and even people in offices. How on earth would be missing on the President’s list! Who did not get Brian Whites green, purple and red papers? His followers feel he should have been on the list so that many can add their names to his beneficiaries and contribute to the economy.